Quarter-life crisis...yes, it exists!

As I'm sitting here at my computer, I vaguely remember a moment in time where I realized I was having a quarter-life crisis. It's not like a mid-life crisis where you can buy a fancy sports car/motorcycle with a hot young girlfriend/boyfriend and call it a day. I think other generations don't understand because they haven't had the same experience, so I'll explain it as I came to know it. After graduation, replacement diploma in hand, the class of 2008 was sent out into the real world to start their new lives as young adults in the work force. Little did we know that the economy was in a tailspin, leaving us with a slim-to-none shot of being able to do what we wanted to do. For example, I left with a B.S. in Theatre hoping I'd have some success in the Chicago theatre scene. Unfortunately, theatre jobs that actually pay are not plentiful, so I had to look for a real job that actually paid while I worked at my internship at a not-for-profit theatre company. About two months passed before I was able to find a job and that was only because someone recommended that I apply there and gave me a good recommendation to the manager. I worked as a hostess at an upscale café for several months, serving people that felt they were entitled to treat me like I wasn't even human just because I was in my early 20's and working in customer service. In the meantime, I had finished my internship and had only been to two auditions...not what I had planned when I moved out to the Windy City. Mike and I were still struggling with finances, despite having two part-time jobs apiece, and it got to the point where we were at a crossroads. It was at that moment that I grabbed a pen and wrote this:

It's at this point right here-that single moment where your past and your future seem to zoom right past each other and it's too fast to see but you know it happened-this point where you honestly don't know where to go next. You know you have to make a choice; whether it's to move in or move out, find another job or stay put, go back to school or keep saying "why did I even bother?". Some say you just feel numb, like there is a void of emotion solely because you can't remember in that spit second what emotion is supposed to feel like. I, on the other hand, feel every emotion there is to feel: anger, joy, sadness, relief, anxiety, compassion, greed, guilt, you name it. Everything all at once, mixed together in a confusing mess so intense that I start to feel pressure around my skull and I want to cry. And I do. These tears are ever so slightly cathartic, as if my head would have exploded had I not allowed moisture to build in my eyes and fall down my cheeks.

Words are pretty much useless at this moment; in fact, there are no words to properly express what goes on in my head at this moment. But I do know this-it feels real.

Essentially, this is what a quarter-life crisis can feel like. After experiencing this, I asked my friends if they felt the same way and they all said yes, so at least I know I'm not crazy. I also happened to stumble upon the Wikipedia page and found that it describes this phenomenon pretty well: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis

Hopefully, with my additional degree, I can avoid the same stresses I experienced the first time around. To those entering the real world, I say, good luck!

Thanks for checking out today's ramblings and stay tuned for more!

Hello!

I'll start with an old favorite of mine to get this blog rolling...

Ophelia

Somewhere lost in state of mind

I sat 'a thinking

About a love that wandered

Far from Earthly reach

He stole my heart and then my mind

So flow’rs I dressed in

Death I sadly met in water

Child of seventeen

11/2/06

Stay tuned for more updates as a new semester begins and more creations emerge!